Arthur Rhodes was left handed, and was mainly below average during his career. He played in Major League Baseball for 20 years, making a total of $37.9 million in the process.
In 2011, Arthur Rhodes was paid $3.9 million. According to Fangraphs, his performance meant that he should have earned -$5.8 million.
Mothers, teach your kids how to be left handed relief pitchers.
In 2005, Bobby Abreu had an uncharacteristic performance in March and April. He only hit .260/.371/.341. The numbers weren't bad, but not up to Abreu's usual standard.
Then, on May 9, his fiancee, Alicia Machado was filmed having sex with a castmate on the Chilean realty show, La Granja. Abreu immediately broke it off with Machado when the video came out.
I meant to send the following as the prelude to the newsletter you were sent this past week.
I've decided to find a new job. I saw that my current job was evolving in a way that I would eventually not enjoy the work at all. So I took the affirmative step of finding a new job before I was forced to do so.
Nextdoor should rebrand and change their name to Kross Karens' Kaka.
For the 20th anniversary of 9/11, I offer you the following templates for all of your social media needs.
[insert anecdote about the banal things you were doing when the Two Towers were hit]
[insert famous quote that expresses the horror and loss of innocence America experienced on 9/11]
[insert comment glorifying America and putting down all Muslims instead of just the dumb ones in al Qaeda] [insert comment comparing a trivial sports loss to 9/11]
Back in 1993, I got this card in a pack. It was worth $75 when I got it. I thought for sure this card would be my retirement fund. I should have sold the card the moment I got it.
As the years went on, Eddie's taciturn face was a rebuke for my idiocy. I eventually gave the card to a family friend who'd started collecting.
Today, it's worth around $18. Ah, the folly of youth.
Over the past month, with the Delta variant raging, I've gone back to mostly staying inside. That means I have to do something to take my mind off things. Last time, it was getting all my links organized. Now, with the website, I'm shifting to displaying stuff I've found. But, unlike the past, when I did things with the hopes of it being compelling to others, I'm just posting whatever is important to me personally. I flip through the site at least once a day to make myself smile. I hope others look at the site, but I'm OK if I'm the only one who does.
Every season I played fantasy basketball, I had to have Rudy Gay on my team so I could name it The Gay Community.
Why Rudy Gay never created Gay Communities wherever he played is still a mystery to me.
All the people on Love Island need to be given a GED study guide and a Bible.
A conversation I had with my pal, Lora a couple of years ago, when we'd both reached our 40s.
Lora: I'd be so much better and popular if I went back to high school now.
Muneer: Yeah, but then the most popular jock would pull a She's All That on you.
Lora: Say what?
I was talking to someone today about analyzing projects that have gone wrong at work. I said,
I love digging through projects and finding out what happened. It's like a puzzle. But the answer inevitably infuriates me. So I am left with a conundrum: the thing that I love the most also brings me the greatest sadness.
I just got the Pfizer vaccine. If you're "vaccine-hesitant", stop being stupid and schedule an appointment when it's available.
Lauren Boebert is female white privilege in sentient form.
In Grade 9, I accidentally became the head of a gambling syndicate at my school.
I was a young, fresh faced kid, and found out that you could win money playing blackjack. So in my usual fashion, I began expanding the operation. I soon had 5 tables in the lunch room with games going at lunch.
That led to me needing to hire football players to act as muscle and collect debts from people.
One night, my sisters had an event at the Manarat Girls School. I was in our car with my dad and was throwing a tantrum. Probably because he wouldn't get me a toy I wanted.
So on Saturday, I get to school and Adnan asks me if I was crying in a car at the Manarat Girls School that weekend. I tried to think fast to avoid being embarrassed, and so I told him it was my twin brother.
Adnan naturally asked why my brother didn't go to Manarat. I said he went to Jeddah International because our parents wanted us to be able to live our own separate lives.
4 years ago, I woke up at 6am and navigated to Google. Seeing the words "Donald Trump has been elected the 45th President of the United States" made my heart jump and sent me into a stupor.
America had just repudiated me and others like me. America said that they believed lies and fear mongering over facts. That day, America became just a country; it was no longer the shining beacon that immigrants strive to go to.
Over the last 4 years, I have seen things I never thought would happen:
If Ronald Reagan was Mario, Trump is Wario.
I told my friend that my favorite cologne in college was Drakkar Noir.
She told me she's glad to hear I was using birth control.
I have this co-worker on a team full of people who manufacture idiotic crises that don't actually matter.
I was talking to her on Friday and she was talking about how vital she was to the company because she'd caught a potentially catastrophic error caused in part by her team's unwillingness to improve.
#30 on the Detroit Lions is named Dee Virgin. He probably plays against the QB today, David Blough, in practice. So, several times a week, Virgin is trying to get a Blough.
The time we spent in Punta Cana was amazing. However, American Airlines was horrible during each trip.
Our flight going to the DR was supposed to be at 7.30am, Sunday, May 11.
I once saw a teen boy at SportClips with his mom. The stylist who came to get him for his cut was a Russian woman who was showing a lot of cleavage.
The mom said, "We'll wait until the next person is free" and held the boy's arm. The boy shook his arm free, gave mom a look like "Damn bitch! Let me live!" and went with the stylist.
The mom, angry about this turn of events, loudly announced she was going to get ice cream.
I wanted to run over and give the boy some dap, but restrained myself.
Happy "We're So Rich That Begging For Food Is Seen As A Leisure Activity" Day!
Heard just now: if you go a town where the factory just shut down, the strip clubs are a lot more liberal about what you can do.
When I was in my freshman year at KU, I was playing basketball at the Robinson Center one afternoon. We had the run of the court because of my teammates' scoring prowess and my extremely dirty play and ability to pull down rebounds in traffic.
Merry 'All The Threats Of Not Getting Presents Because Santa Only Gives Gifts To Those On The Nice List Have No Teeth, Be As Naughty As You Want' Day.
I got a call on a Thursday afternoon from [Suzie]. It was a curious call because the address on the intake form was a Canadian address. Prepaid Legal only sold plans to people in the US. Suzie had met [Gavin], a Canadian, online. After a whirlwind romance, Suzie and Gavin decided that they live together in Ottawa, where Gavin was living. They packed up all of her things into a U-Haul and then hitched her car to the U-Haul on a trailer.
Before:
After:
Back in 1996, I was complaining about some political issue on the KU bus. Some guy says, "You have no right to complain if you don't vote." I looked at him and said, "I have no right to vote since I'm not a citizen, so I'm literally in the only group that can legitimately complain about how things are since I have no say in any of it. However, if your mom or sister is willing to marry me, I'll be sure to vote in 2000."